A Steady, Underlying Fear

“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.” – Aristotle

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.” – Swami Vivekananda

“The [reverent] fear of the LORD [that is, worshiping Him and regarding Him as truly awesome] is the beginning and the preeminent part of wisdom [its starting point and its essence], And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding and spiritual insight.” – Proverbs 9:10 Amplified Bible

As far as I’m concerned, the last year and a half has been analogous to an irritating, constant dripping of a leaky kitchen faucet.  Like the continual droplets of water that keep coming out of the tap, so it has been with events that cause uncertainty, strife, fear and conflict the last eighteen months.

It started with coronavirus and the drips that have come from this leak alone have been non-stop.  The fear and uncertainty connected with the pandemic itself was bad enough but add to that the fighting between masks or no masks, panic hoarding of food, lockdowns, schools that remain closed, adjusting to work-at-home for some and for others being tagged “essential workers” – forced to go to work and deal with the uncertainties of a virus we knew little about.

Then comes the vaccine.  Thank God the leak has been fixed!  But no, wait a second. 

Is it safe?  Has it been meticulously tested?  Most certainly!  It’s our only means to get back to normal again!  But wait a second…

One has been temporarily stopped due to a blood clot reaction and others might need an additional booster to ensure they remain effective. Vaccination doesn’t mean you can stop wearing a mask, some variants might not be affected by it, and one can be vaccinated apparently and still be an oblivious, asymptomatic carrier of a virus they have been vaccinated against catching.  Drip, drip, drip…

Then the death of George Floyd, a vicious, highly contested election, and a change in leadership that has moved the country an entirely different direction.  Political parties used to work together to solve problems and now they are arch enemies.  We talk unification but act differently. The media used to report news and now their programing is nothing but propaganda – no matter which network you watch.  Burning building and looting are considered peaceful protests and political protests are now considered acts of insurrection.  Drip, drip, drip.…

To profess that everyone’s life matters is now terribly racist.  We build fences around our politicians to protect them and tear down fences that are meant to protect our national borders and culture.  We used to debate intellectually and now to disagree means you are invading someone’s safe space – deserving to be cancelled and banned from the rest of society.  Facebook and Twitter were public forums.  They still are, but only if you agree with the ideas and methodologies of the ownership – fact checked by biased fact checkers and blocked if you disagree.  Sound a little like the Germany of the late 1930’s or early 1940’s?

By simply being born white you can be a privileged racist without even realizing it regardless of your financial status or character beliefs.  If you watched Looney Toons when you were a child, you were unwittingly brainwashed to appreciate and accept a gun-loving rape culture.  Society has now decided it must teach our children that the color of their skin makes them either evil or virtuous and THEY must decide what we can read, watch, or become exposed to in an effort to save us from our ignorant selves.  Drip, drip, drip…

What is happening to us and how did it all unfold so quickly?  Do you feel the fear and uncertainty connected to it all?

It’s not akin to the fear connected with standing in front of an oncoming truck, but more of a steady, underlying fear that lingers in the background.  It’s like you are standing in the middle of the road with no truck in sight, but you can hear the constant blowing of a truck horn in the distance.  It isn’t immediately impending, but you know it’s coming!

It seems like this steady, underlying fear has been lingering in the background of my life for months now.  How about you?  Maybe it has nothing to do with the current events I’ve mentioned, but you feel and hear the constant dripping of an illness, a damaged relationship that just isn’t the same, or a way of life that is void and vacant of anything meaningful.  The drip and the splash, the drip and the splash, and the drip and the splash keep ringing in your ears and there is no certified plumber or hired handyman capable of repairing it once and for all.

When I’ve contemplated my own fears, I’ve seen the two very distinct parts of who I am:  A human, mortal being and an invisible, spiritual being.  We often forget (myself included) to separate and distinguish the two – looking at them both for what they are and what they represent.

The steady, underlying fear I talked about earlier is restricted to our humanness.  Our ego is constantly working in the background of our lives and fear is a predominant emotion it promotes.

You see…it wants its way and knows its time is short.  It fears change, uncertainty or anything that can get in the way of what seems desirable, pleasing, and advantageous in the moment.  It uses fear as a motivator to get you moving in a direction that protects its existence, upholds its viewpoint, and guards its individuality and self-worth.

Anxiety, worry, discomfort, unease, and apprehension are all driven and centered in our earthly bodies, our humanness, and our ego.  Can you see this within yourself?

Now take a moment and look hard at the REAL side of who you are – the invisible, spiritual aspect of your being.  This part of you, not your earthly ego, defines who you truly are.  It cannot be tangibly held or viewed like the body and flesh.  It’s eternal, timeless, and unending.

Who you are isn’t bound or imprisoned by a set of earthly circumstances.  What you are destined for cannot be cancelled by a society, an illness or a virus.  No earthly force can extinguish it, no event can alter it, and no person has the power to change it.  Your journey is predestined and filled with purpose – even when your humanness fearfully holds on to and embraces the illusion of uncertainty. 

If this is who you truly are and why you are here, what is there to fear?  “Fear not” is the most stated, declared command in the Bible!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” – 2 Timoth 1:7

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.” – Proverbs 29:25 NLT

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness.” – Isaiah 41:10 BSB

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1 ESV

If you are like me, feeling this steady, underlying fear the past several months, I hope you think about where it originates and why it surfaces within our lives. 

I pray that peace and contentment surround us when we realize who we truly are – having absolutely nothing at all to fear 😊

God bless!

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