A Deep, Mysterious Sadness

“Every human walks around with a certain kind of sadness.  They may not wear it on their sleeves, but it’s there if you look deep.” – Taraji P. Henson

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

“I don’t know how many times I have survived myself without telling anyone.” – Unknown

“A sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ.” – John Steinbeck

Maxime Lagacé once said, “Trying to avoid sadness is trying to avoid life.”  Indeed, experiencing life means experiencing sadness.  To live and avoid it altogether is impossible.

Often, it comes to us in very overt and obvious ways.  We can feel it when death comes to someone we love and cherish, as we are struggling with a disease or disability, or when scorn and rejection arise from those we value most.  The sadness that accompanies these types of circumstances seems reasonable and quite understandable – a logical reaction to such devastating events.

But what about a deep sadness that is covert – so mysterious and puzzling you have a difficult time truly understanding its origins?  It can be so powerful and weighty – almost impossible to carry.  No thoughts or triggers bring it to the conscious surface.  It seems to suddenly enter the room of your heart and mind with no notice – extracting every bit of oxygen from those deep places within.  There is a dry emptiness that is difficult to explain – a sense of hopelessness that is beyond description.

What makes it so hard to bear is the unknown nature or source of its arrival.  Everything on the outside is going fine.  In fact, so many areas of your life are filled with blessings and good fortune.  Why then such overwhelming sadness? 

Because it’s so hard to understand and conceptualize on your own, you avoid sharing it with others who often can’t relate or label you as mentally unstable and unbalanced.

When you finally break down because you can no longer hold such emotion inside on your own, what becomes almost worse than the mysterious feelings themselves is the thoughtless, simplistic solutions you are given to remedy them.

“You need to start thinking differently. You just need to think more positive!  Stop dwelling on all the negativities.”

“I bet it’s a hormone imbalance.  You probably need some anti-depressants to get you feeling better again.”

“You just need to spend more time around family and friends who can distract you and change your way of thinking.”

“You need a hobby to keep your mind occupied.”

“You need to see a doctor.  Therapy will make you feel tons better.”

First, if a conscious thought could be connected to the mysterious sadness than it would be something overt – an obvious trigger.  How can one get to the bottom of understanding such a deep sadness by masking it, drugging it, or creating enough distractions to force it out of existence?  I know friends and family have good intentions, but to suggest they have all the answers to an internal heaviness that I myself can’t explain or put my finger on seems a little narcissistic and self-absorbed.   How do you talk intelligently with a therapist about something you can’t explain or comprehend yourself?

Have any of you experienced such sadness – a kind that is so dark and shadowy you can’t tell where it is coming from or why it has such a hold on you?  Can you relate to how it surfaces – without any thoughts or triggers that activate it?  Are you blessed beyond description, yet feel an indescribable emptiness or weightiness that comes out of nowhere?

The only answer to this dilemma I believe is found in a daily, purposeful walk with God – drawing close to Him for healing, wisdom, and strength.

Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” – Jeremiah 17:14 NIV

Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139: 12-13 NIV

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4 BSB

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. – Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3: 5-6 NIV

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 NLT

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.” – Psalm 40: 1-2 NIV

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 NIV

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles” – 2 Corinthians 1:3 NIV

“Blessed be the Lord, who bears our burden day by day, The God who is our salvation!” – Psalm 68:19 Amplified Bible

There is only One who understands us better than we understand ourselves – only One who can heal deeply and permanently.  Only He can comfort us in all our troubles – even those we cannot see or put our finger on.  He brings light to darkness and healing to all who ask.

This daily, purposeful walk together will accomplish all these things, my friend.  The miry bog of sadness will be lifted when we patiently wait for Him 😊 He carries our burdens daily and lovingly begs us to cast our worries and concerns on Him.

I cannot imagine living one single day longer without reaching out my hand to take His for strength, encouragement, and peace each day.  He truly is my Savior, my Redeemer, my Refuge, and my Friend!

We may not be able to understand the deep, mysterious sadness, but our Creator does!  In this alone, I place all my hope…..not in other people’s opinions or solutions….not in doctors or drugs…..not in distractions or diversions.

How about you?

One thought on “A Deep, Mysterious Sadness

  1. Definitely felt this and can relate. For me personally, I know the origin of my own struggle with depression, and the “treatment” is multifaceted. I know without a doubt, however, the Lord is the one who provides, comforts, sustains, strengthens, encourages, and cares for me. His Word gives life and I’m so thankful He understands even when others do not/cannot.

    Liked by 1 person

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