“Of all forms of deception, self-deception is the most deadly, and of all deceived persons, the self-deceived are the least likely to discover the fraud.” – A.W. Tozer

“We lie best when we lie to ourselves.” – Stephen King

“The human mind has an infinite capacity for self-deception.” – Gertrude Atherton

“The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.” – Leonardo da Vinci

It can be devastating when someone we love betrays, lies, and leads us to believe something that isn’t true about them or their life.  The pain associated with this kind of deception is hurtful beyond words.

Sometimes the people we love the most can say things about us that change or distort our self-concept and self-esteem.  Because we value what they have to say, we hold their words as truth.  We begin to believe we are substandard, not valuable, and unworthy of their love, or worse yet, anyone’s love.

To be deceived by a friend, spouse, or family member is one thing, but have you stopped to think about how you might be currently deceiving yourself?  What lies are you embracing about your life?  Is how you feel about yourself really true and accurate?  Have you deceived yourself about the direction you’re taking in life right now?  Are you living in a prison of self-deception?

“The wise look ahead to see what is coming, but fools deceive themselves.” – Proverbs 14:8 NLT

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.” – Proverbs 14:8 NIV

Self-deception can enslave us in so many ways.

First, it can captivate our thoughts and actions in a way that lead us toward misguided priorities and destructive behavior.  If we believe we aren’t capable of accomplishing the dreams and purposes God has placed in our hearts, we can easily give up or pursue a direction in life that isn’t anywhere near what God intended for us.  If we deceive ourselves about who we are and what we can achieve, we incorrectly choose the wrong priorities – chaining us to a life that is a mere shadow of what it could be.

Secondly, self-deception can greatly restrict the power of our legacy – the positive impact we can have on others and the greater purposes we are here to fulfill.  A married man with children who begins to believe the lie that he would be so much happier with another woman besides his own wife is actually destroying his legacy as a father and husband.  A woman, addicted to drugs and alcohol, chained to thoughts of self-gratification and pleasure, unwittingly casts away her created purpose – the reason and meaning behind her life and what she is really here to accomplish.

Thirdly, self-deception can confine and limit the peace we experience in this life. When we embrace wrong mindsets about ourselves, when we believe God isn’t concerned or aware of our problems, when we falsely believe we are solely in control of all that transpires in life, tranquility, harmony, and serenity become elusive.

Embracing Lies About Ourselves

In today’s world, we can easily become deceived about our personal value and worth.  Society is constantly feeding our minds with messages about how we need to look, what we need to say, and how an attractive, desirable person should behave and act.

Society’s standard (and quite often the standard we hold ourselves too) is often unattainable or impossible to achieve.  Not everyone looks like a Cosmopolitan model or the man posing on the cover of Esquire magazine.  Possessing the luxury car, the ability to take exotic vacations, or holding a prestigious job has nothing to do with our value as an individual.

Here is the truth we must embrace:  Each of us is a unique individual (Psalm 139: 14-16), created by God in His image (Genesis 1:27), specifically designed to fulfill the destiny God had in mind when He gave us life (Ephesians 2:10).  Our value has nothing to do with how we look, what we have, or who we are with. Each of us has immeasurable valuable, has a unique purpose here, and has been created and crafted by the Master to fulfill our destiny in this world!  Don’t deceive yourself into thinking anything different.

Embracing Lies About Our Ego

As I mentioned earlier, we can embrace the lie that we aren’t worthy enough, good-looking enough or smart enough to accomplish anything worthwhile.  At the same time, we can go to the opposite extreme – believing the lie of the ego…. that we are better than everyone else, that we deserve everything we desire, and that we alone control and dictate our destiny – even if that means we do it at the expense of others.

I have heard someone describe ego as ‘Edging God Out” – diminishing His power and authority over our life by believing we can do as we please, meet our own desires, and live in a fashion that satisfies our own needs and wants.

Here is the truth we must embrace:  Without God, we cannot accomplish our destiny or fulfill our purpose here (John 15:5).  The pathway to fulfilling our legacy is one centered in humility (James 4:10), service to others (Galatians 5:13-14), and selfless actions (Matthew 25:35-40) – not self-centeredness, satisfying selfish desires, and believing we can do anything we want regardless of the impact on others.

Embracing Lies About the Direction of our Life

I think each of us has lied to ourselves at one point in time about the direction our life was heading – knowing full well deep inside that we were taking a misguided turn or choosing a path that wasn’t right or one that matched God’s values and principles.  Maybe you entered into a relationship that you knew deep down wasn’t right, or you left a good job for selfish reasons, or you embraced a lifestyle that you knew was unhealthy and destructive in the long run.  We wanted to follow our own desires and our own path – knowing full well that we were off course.  We heard that quiet, small voice deep inside, warning us to proceed with caution or to move the opposite direction, but we thought we would be the exception, that we could get away with it, and that our way was the best way.

Here is the truth we need to embrace:  God’s values and principles for life are designed strictly for our benefit (Deuteronomy 5:29 &33), God will guide us if we listen for His direction (Isaiah 30:21), and His direction for our life is the best life has to offer! (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

So, are you lying to yourself currently – trapped in a prison of self-deception?  If you find yourself believing lies about who you are and where you are heading, look to the verse I mentioned earlier in Proverbs for some sound advice.

Look Ahead to See What’s Coming

This passages states that the wise “look ahead”. They don’t get caught up in the emotions of the moment, their current feelings or their present state of mind.  You can avoid self-deception by taking time to deliberately focus on what the future consequences look like if you continue down the path you have currently chosen.

Take time each day to contemplate what the future looks like if you keep doing what you are doing now and thinking like you are thinking now.

What will your mental and emotional stability look like?  How will you feel physically?  What will be the effect on the people close to you – your friends, family, and loved ones?  What kind of legacy will you leave if you keep doing what you are doing now?

Give Thought to Your Ways

One translation of this passage states that the prudent “give thought to their ways”.  What comes to mind for me when I study this part of the text is how unreliable, defective, and undependable my own ways can become.  

Being human, it is easy to become deceived into thinking our own way is the best way.  Here is where humility, reverence of God and His authority over our life, and holding fast to God’s values and principles for living come into play.  When we realize we are here to fulfill a deeper purpose, when we relinquish our way to God’s way for us, and when we understand and connect with our own flawed reasoning at times, we are truly “giving thought to our ways” – embracing the truth that God’s ways are best for us!

May God free us from any prison of self-deception we encounter in our lives, and may He help us to seek truth and wisdom in all we do and think.

God bless!