“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.” – Rumi

“What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words” – Proverbs 18:21 GNT

“Words have power.  Words created this universe.  Everything started with the Word.  The Bible says, ‘In the beginning was the Word.’  In the same way, your words have creative power.” – Bo Sanchez

Bo Sanchez is right.  Words have a powerful, creative force behind them.  I often think of them like seeds.  Impeccable words planted in the fertile soil of hearts and minds can grow into something beautiful.  Words spoken harshly with little thought or truth behind them can grow into something destructive that lasts for years after they were first uttered.

Think for a moment about the words you have spoken to others this week.  Think about your own self-talk – words you have spoken about yourself and your life either out loud or hidden within your own thoughts and mind.

What did those words create?  What did they breathe life into or what did they initiate?

“I’m so stupid!  How will I ever survive this?”

“I can do this!  I am like no one else, unique and special, equipped to accomplish everything required of me and my destiny here.”

“I love you beyond measure!  You mean the world to me!  I would move both heaven and earth to simply share this life with someone like you.”

“I don’t love you anymore.  I deserve someone so much better than you.  I will never understand what I saw in you in the first place.”

“Today I choose happiness over despair, kindness over intolerance, and gratitude over grumbling.”

“I hate everything about my life!  Everything always seems to turn out bad in the end!”

Now think about this my friend:  If words are like creative seeds we plant, what are words left unsaid?  What happens when no seeds are planted at all?

If spoken words have tremendous power, can the same be said of unspoken words?  What happens when we lack the courage to speak, to open ourselves up to vulnerability, and to silently hold inside what really needs to be given a voice?

CLOUDS OF UNCERTAINTY AND DOUBT

I knew a girl who had a good Dad, a hardworking, kind soul who did all he could for his family.  He was a man of few words – especially when it came to expressing emotions.  When he passed away, his daughter wondered, “Why couldn’t Dad look me in the eye and tell me he loved me?”  I think deep down she knew he did, but the absence of those spoken words left her hurt and feeling empty.  He never told her how proud of her he was.  No tender, sincere words were ever spoken to her directly that she could remember.

There is such a tremendous lesson in this for all of us!  Each of us have an obligation to those God has placed in our lives to remove any uncertainty or doubt – to clear up any false assumptions, lingering questions, or areas of ambiguity.

Unspoken words have the power to create such vagueness and insecurity.  Too often, we assume people know how we feel.  We get lazy and apathetic toward the relationship – thinking it will always be there for us – that our partner knows how we feel about them.  We think, “My kids know that I love them.”, but why allow the power of unspoken words to create any doubt?

Can you see the destructive, creative force behind words left unsaid?  Like Rumi’s quote above, silence can speak to someone in a hundred different ways – laying the groundwork for misunderstandings that can last well beyond your lifetime.

MANIPULATION AND CONTROL

Silence is often used as a form of control and manipulation.  The “silent treatment” is a term used to express our anger or frustration toward someone.  We are even told as children, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all!” 

Are you currently using your unspoken words to control a relationship, to manipulate and change someone’s behavior, or because you believe in your heart there is nothing good to say at all?  Worst yet, is the silent treatment you are using making someone feel unworthy, useless, or not good enough?

Can you see what your unspoken words are creating?

The Bible encourages us to confront our issues with others (Matthew 18:15) – seeing our own faults and shortcomings at the same time (Matthew 7:3).  No relationship is ever healed by silence.  Never allow silence to become an excuse because you feel you have nothing good to say.  Kindness, respect, and gentleness can always be injected into hard, truthful discussions that need to take place.

THE LASTING, UNFORGETTABLE NATURE OF UNSPOKEN WORDS

“Unspoken feelings are unforgettable.” –  Andrei Tarkovsky

Just as spoken words have a lasting effect, the same can be said of those left unspoken.  There is almost a slight degree of intensity added due to the lack of closure unspoken words create.

You will never forget the moments in your life where someone said, “I love you!” 

I think the same is true of those words never being spoken – being left to wonder, or doubt, or contemplate on your own.  It becomes almost impossible for the mind to let go of something so unclear and blurred.  What was real?  What was the truth?  How will I ever know?

It becomes hard for the mind to shut off.  It wants to find the answer, so it presses on, continually looking for one that it will never find.

I think each of us need to be sober minded about the unforgettable nature of unspoken words.  In today’s world, the idea of “ghosting” someone has become the norm.  We run away from all that makes us uncomfortable or pretend in our own minds that people don’t exist if we simply never speak to them again.

Again, what are we creating?  How can our avoidance or silence harm someone permanently – causing unforgettable hurt or confusion?   How can our unspoken words harm us?

Tonight, I hope you see the power of unspoken words, how they have affected your own life, and areas where silence has been either purposely or unwittingly used as a form of communication by you or someone close to you.   Just as words plant seeds, so do words that are left unspoken – sowing doubt, uncertainty, and a longing for clarity and truth.

Instead of avoidance, silence, and fear of vulnerability, choose to use your words in the direction of truth and light – always with gentleness and respect.  Speak truth into your own life and the life of others – never allowing what is important to go unsaid or unheard.

God bless 😊