“Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.” – Karen Salmanshon

“A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens.” – Michel de Montaigne

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering.” – Ben Okri

Each and every one of us longs for a life filled with nothing but happiness.  As glorious as that sounds, take a moment to imagine what that would look like, and more importantly; consider what would ultimately transpire by living the “perfect” life.

If every relationship you entered in to, every profession you undertook, every circumstance and event you encountered was “perfect” as your life played out, how would that feel?  If perfection was the norm, would there be any depth to our emotions at all?  Under such pristine living conditions, would any learning or growth occur?

In a way, this prolonged, constant state of perfection would end up loosing its value over time. Without its polar opposite, our definition of happiness would lack any kind of meaningful depth or perceived value.

The great philosopher Lao Tzu wrote, “Under heaven, all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.  All can know good as good only because there is evil.”  Long is defined by short and the high by the low.  Before and after go along with each other.” 

One of the virtues we find in suffering my friend is the paradoxical unity it has with happiness.  The one cannot be defined or experienced to any great degree without the other.  In fact, profound, enduring happiness cannot be experienced outside of deep, drawn out pain and hardship.

If you are currently suffering, realize how the intense hardship will ultimately put a deeper, more meaningful exclamation point on the happiness you experience in the future 😊

Speaking of that perfect life, think about the people who go to great depths to craft and manipulate it – doing whatever it takes to avoid hardship or suffering of any kind.  They cheat and manipulate results at work to advance their careers – looking for the satisfaction of financial rewards and peer recognition.  They throw away their imperfect mate to find one that satisfies them all the time and in every way.  They buy things and accumulate possessions that promote feelings of well-being.  They believe that circumstances drive happiness, so they do whatever it takes to manipulate them, even if that means being deceitful and harmful to others.

What in the end is gained by such a life as this?  80+ years of manipulated, manufactured happiness?  Then what?  Do you really think these folks lie down at night and sleep peacefully – knowing the extent to which they have gone simply to avoid any kind of personal suffering?  Manufactured happiness is fleeting and short-lived.  It is ego-driven and void of any learning and growth – the real reason God has placed us here.

My friend, if you are facing hardships and become envious of folks like this who seem immune to it, think deeply about the virtues that will surface as a result of your suffering.  Think about the growth that is occurring within you, the positive changes you will experience, and the eventual outcomes that lie ahead for you.

“My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” – James 1:2-4 NLT

Just as Karen Salmanshon states above, your highest self can only be realized through deep pain that empowers you to grow.

Think of the deep, meaningful relationship that can develop within the life of someone who has experienced penetrating loneliness or scarring rejection.  Will it become something more precious and more profound than a relationship with someone who hasn’t experienced this kind of hurt at all in their life?

Is the value and ultimate satisfaction of a job more profound to the person who has suffered without one for a long period of time – more so than the person who has cheated and manipulated their way to the top?

Does the abuse you experienced as a child make you a more compassionate, engaged parent?  Has the painful loss made you a more sensitive, effective comforter to those who mourn?  Has the dreadful story of your life made you a more compelling, realistic storyteller?

You can see why James tells us to consider ourselves fortunate when we experience hardship of any kind 😊   Like Ben Okri suggests above, our true authenticity shines bright as we rise above and become greater than the suffering itself.

Can you see the virtues found within hardship my friend?  When you do, you will suffer less as Michel de Montaigne suggests 😊

“And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” – 1 Peter 5:10 NET Bible