“What is most needed for learning is a humble mind.”– Confucious

“A great man is always willing to be little.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  – Hebrews 4:16

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  – Philippians 1:6

 “For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.”  – Proverbs 3:26

Lately, I’ve been thinking about confidence – how at its lowest point can be life-altering and at its highest extremes can become destructive. 

For the past few decades, my personal experiences with it have been on the lower end of the spectrum – struggling with letting go of the judgements, opinions, and subsequent actions of others that have a way of eating away at your self-esteem.  It’s bad enough when strangers or casual acquaintances attempt to chip away at your confidence, but when the harmful words and actions come from people who truly mean the world to you, the impact can be emotionally overwhelming and difficult to describe – especially to those operating on the higher extremes of the spectrum.

To these folks, harsh judgements and cutting opinions are strategically used to bolster their own self-worth.  The more they can undermine your confidence, the greater theirs becomes in their own mind.  But when the narcissism behind the blame-shifting, the manipulation of gaslighting, and the failure to take personal accountability finally take their toll, the failed relationships, emptiness, and resulting unhappiness are all that remains – simply to maintain a sense of pride and grandiosity in their mind. Those with an overstated, ultra-confidence in themselves, seldom realize they are shutting off all forms of personal growth.  They are in essence all they ever will be or become in this life.

“Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” – Proverbs 16:18

Confidence, the person stripped of it, or the individual overflowing with it, can create a life of suffering and emptiness at each end of the spectrum. 

But isn’t confidence needed to accomplish anything worthwhile in life?  Isn’t a healthy dose of it required to chase after goals and to attract and maintain positive relationships as Norman Vincent Peale suggests above?   How do we acquire a level of it that fits within who we truly are and helps us to fulfill our destiny and purpose here?

It Begins with the Paradox of Humility

A healthy confidence ironically begins with a realistic, methodical dose of humility – a balanced outlook on who you are in this world, the limits of your humanity, and the infinite possibilities found in your God.

But to begin seeing the paradox, we must redefine what self-confidence truly means.  For those of us on the higher end of the confidence spectrum, we need to move down the scale a bit by focusing on humility – connecting deeply with the meaning of the Bible verse below:

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 NLT

Self-pride and self-importance, along with a strong belief in our individual abilities, knowledge, and skills, sounds like the ticket to building confidence, but self-reliance and self-sufficiency will end in failure.  Apart from God, we can do nothing.  Healthy confidence begins with seeing ourselves in light of who we are WITHOUT God – incapable of consistently doing what is right and good.

It Continues with a Focus on The True Source of Our Confidence

“We don’t need self-confidence, we need God-confidence.” – Joyce Meyer

To see the importance of humility in healthy self-confidence is only the beginning.  If we end there, our confidence would be non-existent!  This first step of humility allows us to SEE where our true Source of confidence resides.   

In God, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139: 14) – capable of handling anything that comes our way.  “I will strengthen you and help you” (Isaiah 41:10) is a promise of God that builds our confidence when facing uncertainty.  I love the Bible verse above that speaks of the “throne of grace” – a throne we can approach with “confidence” whenever we are in need of mercy or help of any kind.   

I personally get such comfort and assurance from the passage in the first chapter of Philippians mentioned above – that any good work within us “begins” with God, and that in Him, it will be “carried on to completion”  This speaks so loudly to his sovereignty, his providence, and his loving care for us!

Can you begin to see how God is the true Source of all the confidence we need?

It Concludes with a Peaceful, Expectant Assurance

“Our confidence comes from believing that God can do anything, then stepping back and letting him.” – Jennie Allen

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.”  – Jeremiah 32:17

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” – Romans 8:31

“Everything is possible for one who believes.” – Mark 9:23

When we humbly lessen our own significance and begin to see God as the Source of ALL our confidence, we can begin to possess a healthy, strong confidence in all we face!  As children of the Most High God, we can walk through any trial or issue we face with assurance and expectancy that God is at the very center of it – ALWAYS working for us.  No matter how difficult the obstacle is, nothing is impossible for Him 😊 Take great comfort and peace in that my friend!

I love how the Jennie Allen quote above encapsulates the CONFIDENCE that our God can do anything and yet embracing the HUMILITY needed on our part to step back and allow Him to work.

This, my friend, is the humble confidence we all need to embody within our lives. 😊

God bless!