“It is both a blessing and a curse….to feel everything so very deeply.” –  David Jones

“The worst wounds, the deadliest of them, aren’t the ones people see on the outside.  They’re the ones that make us bleed internally.” – Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Every burden prepares you for eternity.” – Basilea Schlink

They say that “Time heals all wounds”.

I guess there is some truth to that – when the scars heal over and begin to fade – but what about those hurts that never seem to go away?  What about the kind of hurt we experience once, but reluctantly relive every day?  That daily recounting and remembrance are like scratching open a fresh wound.  How can a hurt heal when it is constantly being reopened, recalled, and re-examined?

For me, I can be going about my day as usual – undertaking the day’s tasks and routines, when suddenly there is an unexpected knock on the door of my life and my heart.  When I open it up, there lying at the doorstep of my day is a freshly delivered package of hurt.  That unexpected “knock on the door” so to speak, can be a song I hear, an image I see, or a sudden, unanticipated thought that crosses my mind.  Before I know it, the hurt surfaces all over again – scraping open wounds that begin to bleed yet another time.

Have you ever experienced a hurt like this – one that comes in the form of an unexpected package every day – delivered at a time you least expect it?

I know of folks who have lost a child or a spouse, and that loss is so deep and so hurtful, not a day passes without the hurt being relived.  I think about close, intimate friendships or marriages that were severed in such an abrupt way – leaving no time for closure.  The package of hurt that gets delivered each day comes in the form of questions like, “Why did it have to end like this?” or “What did I do or say that made them want to leave?”

There are children who go to school each day and the hurt is delivered in the form of peer rejection.  Day after day the wound is reopened and infected with hurtful words or actions.  Maybe you live with a form of physical or verbal abuse that is constantly tearing you apart mentally and emotionally.  Maybe the hurt you recall is hurt you caused and initiated.  The package delivered at the door of your life each day is filled with regret, remorse, and guilt.

If you can connect with and relate to this kind of daily delivery of hurt, what can be done to begin the healing process?  How can you stop these unexpected deliveries or what can you do to diminish their affect?

FORCE YOURSELF TO LOOK DEEPER

 When that unexpected, daily delivery of hurt arrives, don’t linger on the fringes of it.  Don’t let your mind scan over it quickly as you normally do – hanging on to the surface emotions or frequently recreated sadness that naturally comes with it.  Force yourself to go beyond the wrapping paper it comes in and take time to open up the package – looking intently inside of it.  When you do, you will start to see something different.

Instead of the reliving the death and loss, you will begin to cherish and relish the life you shared and will share again in the future – replacing hurt with thoughts of happiness.  Instead of the regret, you will begin to see opportunities to do what is right and healing –  moving away from the hurt of shame and remorse – becoming someone who diligently seeks opportunities to heal and mend the brokenness you caused.

When you hold open and examine the package of rejection and abuse, you start to realize that the perpetrator, the instigator of the hurt is the one deeply scarred and broken.  You will move from a place of hurt to a place of empathy.  You will no longer see yourself as a worthless victim.  Your hurt will begin to subside as you look deeply and objectively at what lies behind it.

When those daily deliveries come, dig deeper into their meaning.  Don’t wallow on the surface of them – feeling and reliving the same hurtful thoughts.  Go deeper and you will begin to see them in a new light filled with truth and meaning.

GIVE THE HURT TO GOD, BUT IN A NEW AND ENLIGHTENED CONTEXT

“In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free.” – Psalm 118:5 NLT

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” – Psalm 68:19 NIV

“Cast on the Lord whatever He sends your way, and He will sustain you.” – Psalm 55:22 ISV

The whole idea of “letting go and letting God” or “casting your cares on the Lord” sounds so cliché – like the perfect platitudes uttered so often they become thoughtless and without meaning.

When that daily hurt delivery comes, we need to give it to the Lord, but SEE IT in a different light.

Within this article, we have metaphorically given our hurts a physical, tangible form – thinking of them as a package or box delivered to us each day, however; the emotion of hurt is something quite intangible.  Hurt cannot be seen or held.  We refer to burdens as “heavy”, yet their weight isn’t measured in pounds or kilograms.  

The emotion of hurt and the weightiness we feel as a result are happening within our minds and hearts – as invisible to us as our soul and spirit – placing it within the context of our spirituality.  If we were to die tomorrow and an autopsy was performed, no one would find any tangible, heavy hurt.  No one would be able to see the physical effect of those emotions that we suffered with most of our life.

If these emotions are spiritual in nature, they require a spiritual solution and remedy.  When you think about it in this context, there is no earthly, physical, or mortal way to deal with them.  Indeed, releasing these emotions to a supernatural God is the answer!

Only He has the power to daily bear our burdens – to set us free 😊

Can you see the hurt as a spiritual issue – requiring a spiritual solution?  If not, look at the last verse above.

“Cast on the Lord whatever He sends your way” – implying that all of life’s circumstances, and the hurtful emotions that surface as a result, are filtered through a Sovereign God.  Nothing enters your life without God’s allowance and permission – giving deeper purpose and meaning to the hurt.

My friend, if you are experiencing a daily delivery of hurt – painful thoughts and emotions that don’t seem to heal with time – I hope you begin to see them differently today.

Don’t quickly relive the same emotions time and time again.  When that package comes unexpectedly, take time to open it up and look at it deeper.  You will begin to see it in a new and truthful light when you embrace it and analyze it in greater depth.

Understand the spiritual aspects of hurtful emotions – requiring a supernatural remedy.  See a God who allows them to enter your life for loving, gracious reasons that are a destined part of your journey.  If He allows them, then He has promised to bear them for you, sustain you through them, and to set you free in the end 😊

“God cannot give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.” – C.S. Lewis

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 354:18 NIV