“God is bigger than time, dates, and appointments. He wants you to move through this day with a quiet heart, an inward assurance that He is in control…” — Roy Lessin

“A firm faith in the universal providence of God is the solution of all earthly troubles.” — B. B. Warfield 

I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.” — Martin Luther

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” — Hebrews 10:23

The world we live in places a high value on a confident mentality.  We tend to follow leaders who possess it, praise athletes who embrace it, and search for friends and mates who embody the principle in a way we admire and find attractive.

Our ability to possess a confident demeanor is a reflection of our self-esteem and self-worth, or so the world tells us 🙂 If you lack confidence, you must have some sort of character flaw or inferiority complex.  A confident mentality means fear is a distant emotion, while someone with no confidence seems weak and immobilized by their uncertainty and confusion.

I don’t know why, but often I’ve been turned off by confident people.  I have discovered over the years the fine line between arrogance and blessed assurance, between self-pride and enduring faith, between the cocky “I’ll do it my way on my terms” and the quiet peacefulness of “I’m not sure what lies ahead, but I trust God that does.”  

You might be thinking…

“Shouldn’t we be confident in ourselves and our own abilities?”

“Doesn’t God want us to possess a sense of confidence in all we do or in any situation we encounter?”

“Isn’t confidence a healthy mindset?”

Yes, confidence is a healthy mindset, and God encourages us to live a confident lifestyle, but we must analyze what lies at the center of our confidence, where is its source and how is it sustained in our lives.

Today, I want you to think about your own confidence level.  Are you generally a confident person and where is the source of that confidence coming from?  Is it grounded in faith, trust, and peace or is it rooted in self-esteem, circumstances or relationships?

Confidence in Self

There are times we can become our own source of confidence.  Maybe it’s our physical attractiveness that gives us confidence or our level of intelligence compared to others.  Maybe our moral and ethical views give us a sense of confidence – knowing we must be admired and valued by God because of them.  Maybe it’s a special talent or ability we possess that sets us apart from others.  Even a strong self-reliant attitude, a clouded realization that you are the only one you can trust to do it right can falsely bolster self-confidence.

Each of us has met someone like this.  Their confidence comes from their looks, their intelligence, their talents, their self-righteousness, or their strong self-reliance.  The foundation of their confidence is found within themselves – fueled by self-pride and a false sense of who they really are down deep.

Do you possess a strong self-confidence?  Do you believe in yourself and your own abilities so intensely that it drives all aspects of your life?

You see, self-confidence should not be centered in ourselves, our talents and our self-reliance, but should be grounded in who we are in God’s eyes and how He sees us.

Healthy self-confidence begins with thoughts like this:

“I am confident because I’m one of God’s children.”

“I am beautiful and perfectly made because God created me in His own image.”

“I am confident in my decisions because my wisdom comes from God who continually provides me direction and guidance if I simply ask for it.”

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

“Each day I am made righteous in God’s sight through Christ and His forgiveness.”

“I have been blessed with all the talent and skills I need in this life to accomplish God’s plans and purposes for me.”

Can you see the difference in self-confidence constructed in self-pride and self-reliance versus self-confidence rooted in who we are in Christ?

Confidence in Circumstances

So much of our confidence can come from the circumstances we find ourselves in at the moment.  Think about a wealthy couple, living in a large home, driving new vehicles, and looking forward to a luxurious retirement.  Think about a poor couple, living in a tiny, run-down apartment, with an old used car on its last leg, wondering how they will be able to afford rent next month.  Which couple do you believe stands a little taller and feels a stronger sense of confidence?

What about someone who is young and healthy right now versus someone suffering with disease and chronic illness?  How about the Wall Street executive getting ready to cash in their large annual bonus versus the individual standing in an unemployment line – trying desperately to find a job?

We can falsely base our confidence around circumstances – causing us to either think more of ourselves than we should or to wither in self-degradation based on the horrific situation we face.

We are at the very center of God’s will for our life if we can confidently thank Him for the circumstances we face – irregardless of how positive or negative they are.

“Always be joyful.  Keep on praying.  No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.” – Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

I have found in my own Christian walk that the very essence of confidence no matter what circumstances you face is based around your belief in a Sovereign God.  If God is not in control of His creation, if His arm is too short to reach down and help or His power too weak to make a difference in this world, then the only confidence we have in this life is based on our current set of circumstances and the fate that drives them.

Each of us has seen our circumstances change overnight – from good to bad or from very positive to surprisingly negative.  If we base our confidence on circumstances, then we can expect our confidence to ebb and flow with each positive and negative experience we encounter.  If we believe God isn’t the source of all blessings and doesn’t allow and control the hardship or difficulties that enter our life based on His purposes and ultimate authority, then our confidence is subjugated to whatever situations or circumstances lie before us.   

This is not the life God intends for us to live.  When we center our lives in Him no matter what circumstances we face, when we trust in His sovereignty, power, and control, we will experience a peace and confidence that is “far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.”

Confidence in Relationships

Confidence can also be based on relationships.  If we’re married, we can feel wanted and needed by someone.  If we find ourselves single, divorced, or abandoned, we can feel unworthy of love and acceptance.

Sometimes people establish their personal confidence by the number of friends they have or by the relationships they have with people in positions of authority.  Don’t you feel a little more confident when the boss thinks you’re great, when a spouse fawns over you or others are lined up waiting to be your friend?

I have known individuals who based their personal worth and confidence on whether or not they were married.  I have personally felt the lack of self-worth and disapproval associated with divorce and with an employer who didn’t want me to be a part of their company anymore.

Here is the problem with basing our self-esteem and self-confidence in relationships:  Relationships require people and people are flawed.  If we base our opinions of ourselves on what others say or think, we are placing too much emphasis on their flawed humanity and our own flawed logic.

People say the wrong things, think misguided thoughts, and tend to be more selfish than selfless.  Don’t get me wrong. Having multiple friends, getting married, or establishing a great working relationship with your supervisor is all well and good, but if we measure our self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth on what others say or think about us, we are headed for disappointment and despair.

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength; whose heart departs from the Lord.” – Jeremiah 17:5 NKJV

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in people.” – Psalm 118:8 NLT

As I mentioned earlier, the only relationship we can enter into and base our confidence and self-esteem upon is our relationship with God.  God loves us unconditionally, understands our humanity, and is the basis of any confidence we feel or experience in our lives.

I hope everyone reading this today feels they are a confident person 🙂

But my challenge to you is this:  What lies at the very core of the confidence you possess?   Is it based on yourself, your current circumstances, or the relationships you have?

I pray that you see where true confidence can be found – confident in who you are as an individual through Christ, confident that no matter what circumstances you face, God is in control of both the blessings and the hardships, and most of all, confident in your relationship with Him.

God bless!